Hair diaries

Help!!! I’m about to relax my hair! 

 Don’t mind the hairline – braids never loved me 😋

So I recently had an ‘I’ve had it’ with natural hair episode and was headed for the salon for a relaxer – I was that tired! Gosh I’ve been natural for only 7 months but this is quite some discipline. My hair is sooooo dry, and for two days after a wash, I can’t show up in the world due to the hair being in such a shrunken state, so dry and flat. So I generally prefer washing my hair on a Friday night if I don’t plan on going anywhere on Saturday and maybe wear a doek on Sunday.
So this time I washed it on a Sunday afternoon and on Monday morning it was dry, steel-wooly, frizzy and somewhat knotted. I must say a relaxer was really quite literally on the cards.Thank God for a friend of mine Ntombi Dina who was patient enough to listen to my complaints and offer her ways of dealing with her dry hair and other tips so a relaxer has been averted – for now.

In the last 2 weeks I have stopped and chatted to every single natural girl I met just to hear what they do to care for their hair and what tips they had. I spoke to about 8 girls and here is what I found out from my little experiment…

1) Everyone is different. Just because a certain product / method works for someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for me. Some girls have a rigorous method with many products while others were a case of sunlight bar soap and a Special Feeling Hair spray.

2) Trying out products in the beginning to find what works for you is ok. Many of the girls tried out different products now and then but had staples they resorted to each time.

3) Most natural girls have had their own days of giving up and wanting to reach for that relaxer so I wasn’t lonesome in this seemingly daunting journey. So when I get those days, I’ll know to reach out to one of my fellow naturalistas 😋.

4) I also learnt that I should embrace my hair and instead of finding everything wrong with it, I should find ways of loving and making it work. There’s nothing wrong with my hair in its natural state. That’s how I was made after all so the emphasis should be on finding what it loves and how to care for it rather than it being on its letdowns.

5) Lastly, I decided to get a weave – my choice of protective style. Whenever I wear a weave, I find that my specific hair is much healthier when I take it off and that my hairline benefits from the non-pulling period. As opposed to braids that affects my hairline pretty badly.

I have made a decision to stick with my natural hair for at least a year and then reevaluate. If I decide to get a relaxer at the end of the year, well… That wouldn’t be the end of the world would it? But I probably won’t.

2 thoughts on “Help!!! I’m about to relax my hair! ”

  1. Ohhh noo Tumi, relaxer no no no…I am glad you decided to at least get a weave instead of the creamy crack.
    it is through that every persons hair is different. but you need to find what works for your hair based on other people’s advises.

    Hear are my suggestion for other people’s regimes that you might try to follow and see if it works. I really admire their hair

    on instagram and Facebook
    @aishaandlife (
    @misspeaches1000 (

    my hair is just like yours very dry few days after washing

    there are plenty to follow but just try this 2 first and see it their regime and advices will work for you

    1. Hey sweet. Thank you so much for your feedback. Please send me other links. I have followed those 2 blogs and they both have awesome advice that I’ve used at times. I am just looking to find out what others are doing because those’ regimes do not work for me.

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