So… I went on a date the other day. I am not sure if I should actually call it a date because it has been quite a long time since I have been on one of those and I think the rules have changed some. But anyway, it was a guy and I at a restaurant for lunch so ok, let me call it a date. Throughout the whole time I kept asking myself, what is going on with the dating scene?
Do guys not know how to treat a woman anymore? I mean really impress, woo and put your best foot forward kind of impression? I really don’t want to judge but I wonder if they do not know, or if they actually don’t care. Is it because women expect way too much or is ‘boys-to-man’ coaching needed here? Judging by what other singles share with me whenever this topic comes up I realize just how much the landscape of dating has changed. If you were expecting flowers et al, you will be shocked to find out things don’t quite happen that way it seems. Anyway, I digress… Back to my ‘date.’
Firstly, he was late and only called at the time we were meant to get together that he was being delayed. Minus 5 points I thought – grace Boitumelo ok? He then arrives at the mall, calls to ask where I am parked and then I tell him ‘next to FNB’ and that I would come out of the car so he can see me. The brother then decides to say “No, come find me.” Uhmmm…Excuse me?? I must come do what?? “No brother, YOU come find me; I am standing outside FNB at the parking.” Those who know Irene Mall will tell you there is nothing complicated about that mall or the parking arrangement. One parking area with one straight mall, very difficult.
When he finally walked towards me and said “I am hungry, we are going to Spur. I want a menu I know when I am hungry,” I knew we were going nowhere very fast and that there would be no second date. I mean I don’t mind Spur, I actually love my ribs but is it too much to ask if I prefer a certain restaurant? To which I responded, “So I was actually invited to just ‘khapa’ you to go have lunch?” The dude looked at me like I was nuts then said he was sorry so I let it go and again reminded myself – grace Boitumelo.
As we conversed, I inquired about his frequency of changing cars, driving the latest models (I’m very skeptical about this sort of thing – lifestyle audit please J) and asked if he owned a home. When he answered, that was it for me. I was out the door! ‘Bill please!’ Haai mann!!
I honestly wasn’t there to tick all the wrongs. I really was looking forward to just a chilled Saturday afternoon, good conversations over good food while getting to know the dude better. I must say though that if there is one thing I am not complaining about, is that this dude was himself. He didn’t try to be anything he was not and perhaps that’s what people actually do but we choose to see something else. It was Maya Angelou that said, when someone shows you who they are, believe them.
For those still interested in what the final straw for me was even before finishing my meal, here goes… The guy confidently tucked into his burnt steak and said, “No I don’t have a house. When we get married, you’re going to sell your house and then we will buy a house together.”
Words fail me… Because If I am compelled to actually respond, my Pastor may need to lay both hands and feet on me.