Boitumelo Vero Rikhotso

Destined for greatness!

7 reasons to delay dating after divorce December 14, 2014

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Image source: Google

Many a times when people have gone through a divorce they tend to quickly get back into the dating scene without taking a moment to heal and figure things out on their own first. I know the word ‘quickly’ is relative and that my and your quickly may have completely different meanings. We all have our own journeys but no matter what your ‘quickly’ means, do take the following into cognizance. I am no expert, just a girl who likes to think, a girl who enjoys listening to people’s stories and putting them down to paper and a girl who has walked the difficult path of divorce.

1) Allow time for healing
Going through a divorce is very much like having open heart surgery, and that is not an experience one heals from overnight. Some therapists suggest a generic rule of thumb that may not appeal to you, but they provide it as a guide to your healing threshold. It is suggested that for every 4 years you have been with a person…..

2) To avoid repeating same mistakes and serial dating
Because after the end of a relationship our emotions are practically all over the place, most people tend to go for similar people they have just broken off from. This could be because of a familiarity, a great want to be with someone or loneliness. Divorce statistics are on the high, even higher for 2nd and third marriages….

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6 Responses to “7 reasons to delay dating after divorce”

  1. It is important to heal the wounds of the past, as to not drag those preconceived notions into the next relationship.
    Excellent post, such a gentle heart you have.
    Blessings…

  2. 333smp Says:

    What a great post! I’ve emailed it to myself so I can read it easily in the future. (Btw…. I have that broken heart photo as my desktop background!)

  3. Maluleke K.Edward Says:

    I think we need to understand that everything happen for a purpose.This include the goods and bad that happen in our life or to our close relatives.No matter how things are they are planned to happen dispite the fact that it affects us positively or negatively.Divorce is something that depended on two sides of a coin.You may want it to work but if you are not at the same level or same world with a spouse divorce will be inevitable.Divorce in many marriages start and happen even before people get married.This I say because at times we see our differences before we get married but because we think situation will improve or change and we think of what people will say then we go on till marriage while we saw that it will not work.We sometimes get married but compromise on some of the principle that we have set or certain high standard or because people said we match while we know that we are in two different worlds.Our likes differ ,Spiritually we are far from each other,the desire to pray,the desire to serve God,the desire to sacrifice for God differs hugely and even Salvation.Any how after this(divorce) has happened we should not allow the devil to hold us hostage to our faillers.I know the devil is so tricky and want to control us in what we think and what people think about me.We need to move on to be married again but this should be given enough time of prayer.Seeking God to guide and allow the Holy Spirit to direct what to do at what time.Delaying to date or get married again has two sides also.Possibility of re-marry the same spouse i have divorce or move on to new marriage.Thanks for allowing God to use you write about this topic which will help so many people.Amen

    • There is so much truth to what you say. Some relationships seem for lack of a better term, doomed from the onset. Often we can see the red flags but we still proceed hoping that the other person will change. Having checked everything does not necessarily mean that the marriage will work but at least the foundation would have been prepared correctly. May God help us…


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